8th Grade Dance
I’m lightening things up this week by sharing a playlist that would have been right at home on any of the 4th of July boats cruising by me on Lake Union this past Tuesday.
Music streaming is perhaps my favorite technological innovation of the 21st century. I know streaming has been quite challenging for artists and a decidedly mixed bag for the music industry overall, but from the very narrow perspective of what’s great for me, it’s been all upside.
Easy access to more music than I can fathom has introduced me to genres and artists that I would not have discovered otherwise. In fact, according to my 2022 Spotify wrap-up, I listened to music by 1220 artists spanning 42 genres, which seems a little suspect to me. Are there even 42 music genres? Regardless, it’s clear streaming has expanded my horizons. It has also catalyzed one of my favorite hobbies in recent years, the Spotify playlist.
The playlist I’m sharing today came about thanks to my sister, Lara, a fellow music enthusiast who, like Spotify, has introduced me to a lot of excellent music. Lara lives in New Zealand, and she had the genius idea to make 8th grade playlists ahead of Sam and my visit in April—1988 for me, 1991 for her, and 2023 for Sam.
One thing I’ve learned in making playlists is that you need a good theme because not all songs go together, no matter how great they are individually. A quick survey of popular mid-80s music made it clear I needed a focus, which sparked the idea of recreating the setlist for my 1988 middle school dance.
I think I’m safe in generalizing when I say middle school is not one of life’s highlights. There is not a lot worth remembering. And yet, who doesn’t remember the middle school dance? And the music? Raucous jumping and flailing to the fast songs; awkward shuffling or wall clinging to the slow ones.
While making this playlist, I conducted an experiment with friends where I asked them to play songs they remembered from 8th grade. Everyone enthusiastically embraced the challenge, and I have concluded that it's a surefire way to liven up a sagging party. Middle school may have been awful, but middle school music makes people happily nostalgic.
That’s definitely true for me, and a number of the playlist’s songs hold a special place in my middle school memories. I’ll only share one memory here—one that, to my surprise, recently helped me to grow as a parent.
The memory involves Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” Objectively, it is a god-awful song. Truly terrible. But to my 8th grade heart, it was deep, and Bret Michaels was hot.
At the time, most of the music I owned were bootleg tapes from friends or recorded off the radio. But in this case, I actually shelled out hard-earned cash for a cassette of Poison’s Open Up and Say…Ahh! album—cringe!—and listened to “Every Rose” on repeat. But that’s not the part worth remembering.
What’s worth remembering is the time my dad came down to my room and listened to the song with me just because he knew I loved it so much.
God only knows what he must have been thinking at the time, trying hard to connect with his teenage daughter through an overwrought ballad from a glam metal band. Can you imagine the facial control that must have been required to get through it without laughing? But he did get through it. And as a result, it is one of my most treasured memories from the difficult middle school years.
The fact that I remember listening to a song with my dad better than I remember family vacations and other big life events from the time got me thinking. At 49, what will Sam look back on as his treasured middle school memories? Our recent trip to New Zealand? I hope so, but I doubt it. That’s because the lesson for me in “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” is that kids cherish most those times when parents pay special attention to what they love, even if it’s a ridiculous 80s ballad.
Since this realization, I’ve made a more concerted effort to pay attention when Sam lights up about something. Recently he’s been lighting up about aerial ski tricks, which, to be honest, I never cared to know anything about. But I’ve now spent countless hours watching Sam do tricks on our backyard trampoline, doing my best to remember what they are—Cork-720, Rodeo-540, Lincoln-something??? It’s all very hard for me to keep straight, but I am really trying to care because I know Sam cares. And besides, learning to spot ski tricks is a much better deal than my dad got.
If you give the playlist below a listen, you can walk in my dad’s shoes and also enjoy many other 80s classics. Some of the songs are great, like Prince’s “Kiss” and Joan Jett’s “I Hate Myself For Loving You.” Some are not good but I love them anyway, including Def Leppard's “Pour Some Sugar On Me” and Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven Is A Place On Earth.” And some I don’t like very much but are essential to the cause, such as Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” and U2’s “With Or Without You.”
In all cases, even after decades of infrequent listening, I can still sing nearly every word and doing so makes me very happy. And I’m willing to bet, if you throw on some tunes from your middle school years, the same will be true for you.
To close, one important caveat. This playlist is missing a lot of excellent 80s music, most notably from the hip hop genre. The glaring omissions are because my goal was to create something that, at least to my memory, could have been on the DJ setlist for a 1988 dance at Roseville Area Middle School in the northeastern suburbs of Saint Paul, Minnesota. The sad fact is my middle school was very white; only about seven percent of my 8th grade class of more than 400 were students of color. But, an 80s hip-hop playlist is now on my “To-Make List.” If you have any good suggestions, email me or post them in the comments!
PS - Special thanks to Audra Keyes, Erin Emerson, Katie Stallman, and Nick Holdeman, dear friends and fellow ‘88 8th graders, who contributed song ideas for this playlist.
Weekly Tidbit
I am blessed with two wonderful parents, and because my dad got a shoutout above, it’s only right to feature my mother, who turns 78 today, in my weekly tidbit.
My mom, Mary Ann, exudes unconditional love and is a tireless giver. As our family’s default parent, she skillfully raised three strong (and strong-willed) daughters to think for themselves and care for others. And she did it all with a cup of tea in her hand.
So today it was a joy for us, all three daughters, to celebrate and appreciate our mom over afternoon tea at the Queen Mary Tea Room. Happy Birthday, Mom!
This post gives me all the feels - the cringe and joy at remembering eighth grade dances, the need for a parent's interest and undivided time, and appreciation for your continued show of courage in sharing your inner self with us.
Another “winner,” Jill. I appreciate your recalling that shared moment 30-something years ago in your room back in Minnesota. And to be fair, you. Dawn and Lara were force-fed a huge helping of music from my life’s playlist during our family road trips when cassettes were the rage—artists like Peter, Paul & Mary and John Denver.
I didn’t have a play list in junior high—because that required owning a record player, LPs and ‘45s’—and those came later for me when I went to college. But the music of that 1958-‘61 junior high period for me was organized by WBOW AM radio in Terre Haute, Indiana. It worked. And perhaps it’s significant that when it came to choosing the title for my personal essay about getting together with your mom in the late 1960s, I reached back to one of those junior high “play list” favorites—Buddy Holly’s “True Love Ways.” It’s a treasure for me.
Thanks too for your tribute to mom on her 78th. She is certainly one of a kind—and a treasure in her own right. ❤️
Keep up the good writing, Jill! 👏